Sacrament of Matrimony
“From the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother; and shall cleave to his wife. And they two shall be in one flesh. Therefore now they are not two, but one flesh.”
Mark 10:6-8
Congratulations!
St. Gerald Parish is pleased to marry registered parishioners. Arrangements for preparation must be made at least six months in advance of the wedding date. Weddings are special times for brides and grooms, for their families and friends, and for their parish community. The new beginning, the love, the promise and hope that weddings represent make their celebration a special and grace-filled time.
The church welcomes its members to celebrate their weddings in the context of our prayer as Christians. Marriage is such an important event in Catholic life that we understand it as one of those seven unique encounters with God that we call sacraments. Great care should be taken to see that the prayer surrounding this event is reverent, graceful & beautiful and open to the movement of the Spirit.
Sacramental celebrations, including marriage, are always rooted in the Scriptures so that we can be nourished and strengthened by the Word of God. Likewise, sacraments are always celebrated in the context of community and are rightly filled with song, prayerful gestures and, at times, silence.
In this spirit, Saint Gerald Parish provides information and guidelines for planning and celebrating weddings. Once you have had the opportunity to read and understand the information contained here, feel free to contact the parish office for an initial appointment to begin the process of marriage preparation.
First Considerations
In planning a wedding, there are many considerations and decisions to be made through the entire process. To assist you in your thoughtful planning and perhaps to anticipate some questions, consider the following:
- The rite of marriage may be celebrated within Mass (with the distribution of communion) or within a liturgy of the Word.
- Two practicing Catholics ordinarily exchange marriage vows during a wedding Mass.
- If either the bride or groom is not Catholic or if one or both are Catholic but not practicing their faith, the rite of marriage may be celebrated during a liturgy of the Word (without the distribution of communion). Likewise, when the distribution of communion would exclude a significant number of those in the assembly (because they are not Catholic or are not practicing Catholics), it may be an appropriate choice to celebrate the rite of marriage during a liturgy of the Word.
- Marriages that take place within a liturgy of the Word are full, complete and legal marriages and may be the preferred choice when the distribution of communion would exclude the bride or groom, family members or a number of your guests.
Civil & Church
Requirements
for Marriage
Canon Law (which is the law of the Catholic Church) is complex regarding marriage. Each couple wishing to marry will review their particular situation with a member of the parish staff to determine their freedom to marry. In general, however, to be married in the Catholic Church, the following must be true:
- At least one member of the couple must be a baptized Catholic person.
- If either or both members of the couple have been previously married, every previous marriage on the part of either party (regardless of whether that occurred within or without the church) must be resolved by 1) a declaration of nullity (an annulment) 2) exception due to lack of form or 3) death of the former spouse. This is also true for non-Catholic persons. If any prior marriages have already been declared null, the declarations of nullity must be provided. If there is any question regarding the freedom to marry in the church, please meet with the pastor as soon as possible. No wedding date may be set at any parish until all former marriages have been resolved.
- The wedding ordinarily takes place in the parish of one or both of the parties.
- A Catholic person must provide a copy of his or her baptismal certificate issued within the last six months. A baptized, non-Catholic must provide a copy of his or her baptismal certificate (regardless of the date of issue) or a letter from the church of baptism testifying to the baptism.
- Additional documents may be required and/or additional paperwork necessary. If so, that will be explained to you at the time of your meeting with a member of the pastoral staff.
- In the State of Michigan a valid marriage license, which is arranged through the county clerk, is required for marriage. Once issued, a license is valid for 30 days; there is a three-day waiting period between the day of application and the day it can be picked up. It is the responsibility of the couple to make arrangements for the license and to deliver it to the parish office at least 2 days before the wedding.
Preparation
What to Expect
Preparation for Marriage at Saint Gerald Church complies with the guidelines of the Catholic Church in the State of Michigan and is typical of Catholic parishes throughout the Archdiocese of Detroit.
- At a meeting with a member of the parish pastoral staff, the couple provides some basic information about each other.
- The couple will receive additional information about a pre-marriage inventory. A pre-marriage inventory, which will be completed on-line, is a series of statements about various elements of the couple’s relationship (such as communication, marriage expectations, finances, family and friends, sexuality, children, etc.). Independently, the couple responds by agreeing or disagreeing with the statements and their responses are then collated. The fee for processing the premarriage inventory is $40.00 and is paid on-line with a credit card.
- The couple will meet with the parish staff to discuss general topics associated with marriage and marriage readiness (typically one to two times).
- The couple meets (typically three times) with another couple from the parish, trained in the use of the inventory, who will review with them the results of the inventory. The goal is to help the couple strengthen their relationship, identify potential areas for growth, and prepare for married life. At the end of these sessions, the engaged couple will receive the “Together for Life” booklet. The St. Gerald married couple will review and explain the importance of reading and understanding this booklet. The title of the booklet says it all. You will be asked to bring this booklet to the meeting with the pastor just before the wedding day and indicate which readings and prayers you prefer to have proclaimed at your wedding.
- The couple will be asked to participate in an On-Location Marriage Preparation Workshop/Seminar. These are normally weekend experiences that expose the engaged couple to additional considerations when making decisions in marriage. This workshop/seminar can be completed during or after meeting with the parish married couple. The parish staff will provide more information. An estimated cost for these workshops/seminars is $100.00.
Timeline
Since each couple is unique and each marriage celebration has its own characteristics, this timeline is offered only as a general guide to planning your wedding at Saint Gerald Parish.
Please put this schedule in your calendars so nothing is overlooked and everything goes as planned.
1 to 2 Years in Advance
- Pick up a copy of “The Rite of Marriage” from the Parish Office at St. Gerald Parish, which is a folder of materials which contains much of what is found here online.
- Read the information carefully.
- Fill out the information sheet.
- Contact the Parish Office for an initial appointment. At that time, review the civil and church requirements for marriage, begin the necessary paperwork, and determine a more specific timeline for marriage preparation.
- In any event, guidelines for marriage for Catholics in the State of Michigan require that the initial contact with the parish must be at least six months before the desired wedding date.
6 months to 1 Year in Advance
- Complete the pre-marriage inventory and review it with a couple from the parish.
- Carefully read Together for Life, a book provided by the parish that includes the readings, prayers, forms of the vows, etc., which can be used in a Catholic wedding. Begin making selections for the wedding liturgy.
- Contact the music director. The date should be reserved with the music director of the parish regardless of who will provide the music for the wedding.
6 months in Advance
- Plan the wedding ceremony with the priest or deacon who will witness your vows. Bring Together for Life book to the meeting with the priest/deacon and review how the book works and make selections.
- Set a date for the rehearsal.
2 months in Advance
- Contact the St. Gerald Music Minister to begin planning and selection of your music.
1 month in Advance
- Contact the parish staff. Provide complete lists of Wedding Party, Reading and Prayer Selections and Music Selections. Set a date for the wedding rehearsal.
1 Week Before the Wedding
- At least two days before the wedding, deliver to the parish office all the copies of the marriage license that you received from the county clerk.
- Complete the rehearsal.
After the Wedding
- Register as a couple in the parish you wish to join. If you are changing to a new parish, notify your former parish or parishes of your departure.
To begin preparing, download the document packet, then print and complete the Bride/Groom Information Form and Vital Information Form. The download also contains important information about options for music and other considerations for the Rite of Marriage.